Stay or Go?

Well, it's Monday which means I get the visit with the nurse but today I got to see the doctor instead. Wrong doctor BUT still a doctor! I saw the "fill-in" doc because my doctor was not in today. Anyway, I asked all of my questions that have been burning me up lately, namely what is our goal for treatment???? After she told me that I didn't have any tumors currently, I asked her to revisit my chart to save her further embarassment. Oh yeah, looks like you have two...duh! So the short answer is that radiation therapy for these types of tumors don't significantly shrink anything :( The best we can really expect is for the growth to stop. I am concerned because of the pain factor. I truly don't want to live my life in this pain, forever! I still have hope but she doused it a bit with her "info." I also mentioned that I can feel that my symptoms have increased which is an indication of the tumors growth. Which lead to my next question....

What should my expectations be for this point in my treatment? Should it still be growing? Are they checking to see if the treatment is working? With 14 treatments under my belt, I only have 2 weeks completed. I should have another month to month and a half still to go. It is really too early to expect any changes at this point. The scans they have done thus far are for positioning and not measurement of any growth or dare I say shrinkage :-)... Once treatment is done, we will scan for measurement and location...blah, blah, blah...

The burning question is whether or not I will be traveling with Cameron and the rest of my family to Colorado. Wouldn't you know, she couldn't answer that question. In all fairness to her though, how could she answer that question...she isn't my doctor! Keep in mind I haven't seen my radiation oncologist since FEBRUARY! So I will ask MY doctor tomorrow for a more clear and definitive answer. I was told before treatment would begin that I would need a break at that point and traveling would be okay. The "fill-in" doc though says she is worried of my side effects from the radiation complicating matters being away from home, ugh!

The symptoms at this point are "pink" skin in the treatment area, dry, itchy skin and fatigue. They are giving pointers on how best to moisturize the skin to keep it from becoming unbearably uncomfortable. I am working it out and in all honesty the pain is more intolerable from the tumor than from the treatment. It just down right HURTS! I have been down this road a few times and it is extremely evident to me that the tumor is growing.