Not Much Newsworthy to Report

Upon returning to treatment I have experienced one "machine malfunction". That was on Monday, July13th. When I returned on Tuesday for the first treatment of the week, I received a large red circle on my back. Strangly, it looks like I got hit with a soccer ball and it left a red mark in it's wake. I don't know why it suddenly looks like I have a new treatment area, one that is much wider.

I have a few theories....ONE, I am entering into the final weeks of treatment. I heard them talking about a "boost" when referring to my treatment. I don't know what it was about but I noticed the beams were delivered for a longer amount of time than previous treatments. TWO, I received a notice from my insurance yesterday explaining that my doctors request for IMRT was denied. Remember, I began treatment on June 1st...why would the denial just now be coming in.... Why wouldn't the doctor wait for approval before beginning treatment???? My thoughts, for what they are worth.... They were aware that IMRT was denied and I was never told that I will not be getting IMRT. Hmm! So much for giving informed consent. I plan to address this with the radiation oncologist, once I get my visit with him. Thus far, it has never happened. So either I never received IMRT or they switched my treatments mid-stream, thus the big red circle burn. Who knows!!

As for my poor beef jerky of a back....it is red, black, and very tender. I have taken to wearing dresses to keep EVERYTHING off of my back. No waistband from shorts or pants has helped with the pain. The only other remedy that they can offer me is Aquaphor (lotion which is like Vaseline), which I am using. I know this is all normal and to be expected but man, this hurts!! My treatment area is large and while I am grateful it is all being covered, it does add quite a bit of pain.

Tumor pain is another animal. Lately, over the past 4-5 days I have been in a lot of pain from the tumors. The muscle area which is affected is sore and very painful. I spent the past two days in bed just trying not to move. As if that isn't bad enough, the other side of my back has been also giving me trouble. I don't know the cause and I was hoping to address this all with the doctor on my regular Monday visit with the nurse. But by now, you've probably already guessed how things go for me :-) I didn't see anyone yesterday. Gotta love it!

They only remedy they've offered me in the past was pain pills. I already have them from surgery and for the past two days I've been using them. So needless to say, I have a lot of questions. The ladies I see daily can see that I move a lot slower and I am in a lot more pain. They either choose not to answer the questions or cannot, so I get nowhere with them.

If my calculations are correct, and pray with me that they are :-), I only have 9 more treatments left!! That should put my last treatment on Aug 3 providing we don't have any more issues with machine failure/maintenance. I can do this and one day I will brush it off as no big deal. While in the midst of it though, it is a big deal and I do struggle with it all from time to time. The pain, the uncertainty it gets the better of me at times but there is no time for that and I move on.