New Doctor

Scott and I met with the hematologist/medical oncologist this afternoon. He was very personable and empathetic but needed to look into what it is that he wants to do with me. Scott tries to reassure me this isn't a terrible thing but with my track record I was hoping for more.

He sent me away with an order for lots of blood work and lots of CT scans. My whole body, in fact! He wants to see if this sucker has spread anywhere else. After an examination, he did seem a tinge worried by some swelling in my throat and when pressing on my stomach my back hurt. I am truly in a great amount of pain. I have never experienced pain like this so something has changed in my body...key will be to find out what.

The plan is to get the scans (yummy potions to drink, mmmm can't wait!) and see him a week after the blood work and scans. Hopefully the scans will be approved quickly and appointment made quickly. I will get on it tomorrow. Once we have all that info he will devise a plan of action.

In the meantime, he has spoken to Dr. Eckardt (expert at UCLA) and Dr. E has given him the names of the doctors he would have liked me to see but the insurance denied. So this new doc has agreed to brainstorm with the experts (next best thing to actually seeing them, I think). He did paint a pretty grim picture of chemotherapy though. I will be hospitalized for a few days while the drugs tear me apart and they put me back together again. This approach doesn't sound anything like Dr. E described so one could conclude they changed their minds. We will go over all of the conditions (he went over elevated temperatures with me several times...says infection could kill me :-( and specifics to me once we have a game plan.

Like I said, he was very personable. He is concerned for me and my family. Lectured me on the merits of letting you all help me, as difficult as that can be, I need to do it! So I will try with all my might. He even pushed me with the skills of clearly demonstrating what I need. No vagueness...I need this from you. Period. He gave lessons on asking how to ask for help.

So as you might imagine, we were there for a while but I feel like he gets how we feel. How this has been such a long road for us and we just want an end to it all. I think what they say, be careful what you wish for...well it just bit me in the a$%! I am very concerned for what these drugs will do to me. How sick I will be....How it will affect the kids...and Scott....so much unknown but the biggest unknown...will this work?!?!?!

He sent me away with some powerful drugs to help manage the pain BUT I can't drive while on them. It will be a challenge since I am a stay-at-home mom to FIVE kids! But he tried and I will try.

You are up-to-date. Next step...CT scan city. They know me well enough there. I'll keep you posted