No Go...Again!

After 1 1/2 hours of waiting in the waiting room I got the news I was secretly hoping for...I know that is bad! My counts did not improve from last week and it was not safe to do resume treatments yet. It took a while but I feel SO much better and I didn't want stinky chemo to ruin it for me!

The bad news is...because my body is not recovering on it's own, I need medical intervention...those dreaded shots I was talking about! So the nurse was willing to "teach" me to do it yesterday but my brain just needed a little time..well a lot of time! So she gave me my first one on Tuesday. That leaves one for Wednesday and one for Thursday.

If this works getting my counts back to an acceptable level, then this will be my routine. Chemo on Tuesday, shots of Neupogen on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. Rest up on the week end and blood work Monday (to check my counts) and back to chemo on Tuesday...

The Neupogen is not without its own set of side effects. When described to me, I am not going to lie, it scared me! The nurse explained that the Neupogen encourages cell development (whatever my body is lacking, red blood cells, white blood cells, platelets..all of which of mine are low) in the bone marrow. As a result the large, flat bones where an adult's bone marrow is produced will become "swollen" with (hopefully) a multitude of cells. These include the pelvis and sternum (chest) and the bones will hurt. "You may feel like you are having a heart attack but it is just the Neupogen" That was not nice to hear. She immediately gave me Tylenol and said to continue taking it every 4 hours...don't let the hurt start. I am a faithful complier so I did exactly as I was told!

The other side effects are flu-like symptoms which alone are okay but the fever really confused me. If I am supposed to go to the ER if my fever elevates beyond 100.4 and this Neupogen may cause fever....how am I supposed to know if it is a product of the medication or a real infection. See my grief!? And since they say that a minor infection can be life threatening due to my counts, what am I supposed to do if a fever should occur??? I am not a dumb human being but I just couldn't get what they were telling me! I still don't fully understand it all. I understand why the fever occurs with the Neupogen, she did a great job explaining that. It all has to do with the amount of white blood cells, which causes fever (correct verbage?? you get the gest) as your body's reaction to that count, blah, blah, blah. The white blood cell count will be elevated because that is the goal of the Neupogen. The body's natural reaction to an elevated count is fever...makes sense.

So back to my point...how would you know if the fever is a product of the Neupogen or a life threatening infection? And let's be honest that is the only question I REALLY want the answer to!! It seems there isn't really a clear answer so our plan of action is to call the doctor. We will let all of his wisdom have a turn in this conundrum!

Now that I haven't had chemo in 2 weeks, I feel great! My muscle and bones ache from the shot and I am really tired but no nausea. That can be a side effect from the shot but so far so good. I am able to be with the kids, although we have stayed home because of the risk of infection but I feel good. Which is a gift! My friends have been amazing. Carey has brought dinner every Monday night and while this has been difficult for me to accept that I cannot take care of my family, my amazing friends have helped me with that. Thank you for that incredible gift! You are pulling me through this and I am so very grateful!!!

You all amaze me with your generousity!!