He Expected to See Shrinkage!! Darn!

I saw the doctor on Thursday and we watched him rub his head and wince a lot! Scott said, "Stace, he doesn't know what to do with this!" I gathered that 7 1/2 months ago! So he told me everything I already knew. The tumors are "virtually identical" from the January 28th scan. Nothing has changed.

Scott asked his thoughts and he said he was hoping to see shrinkage. Since we don't have that we are cranking up the meds. That, along with re-confirming that we are a long way off from being done is heartbreaking news.

Tuesday I begin again. I will have treatments for the next 3 weeks and then we set off to Maui for 8 days. I hadn't anticipated the 2 week break while we waiting for the CT results so that break isn't really a great idea. He said to go on vacation and enjoy myself. HUH! Easy for him to say!!

I am truly defeated. I, albeit unrealistically, hoped for complete obliteration and the end of chemo. He laughed and told me that even if they had disappeared we would be far from done. I repeated that I realize that was unrealistic but we all need to have something to look forward to....that was mine.

On the bright side my liver counts are...wait for it....all in the normal range. Chemo hasn't killed my liver after all!! Yea!! They will rise dramatically once I start again but it is a great sign that they return to normal when we stop the treatments. My white counts are a different story. He couldn't give a medical reason but to say that it is me and we can never really fully understand why I react the way I do. My counts should be healthy and in the range of normal but they arent' so I need to continue to be careful. I always am. It has become a way of life for our family.

My doctor did mention for the first time getting a PET scan. I will push it because it could give us a better understanding of the tumors activities. He said you never know because...it is me :-( Sadly we wasn't being a wiseguy! He is very serious because things just don't go according to plan with me.

So blood on Monday...chemo Tuesday...shots Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday.
It's official. I am a human pin cushion once again and I can honestly say that I didn't miss it for a single second!