I Got Going With Life That I Forgot To Post!

My appointment with the doctor (and I use the term loosely!) was on November 16th. I originally made a chemo appointment for this day 5 weeks before going on the notion that I would be continuing with weekly chemo. Since he did not put me on the schedule for November, I did not think that I would do this chemo. When I called to clarify earlier in the day, the ladies at the office seemed surprised. Their whole attitude and comments center around the idea that I am refusing treatments. I am smarter than that! If the doc says that I need it, I get it! He is the one that said take the holidays off!

Anyway....I digress! As he was taking my weight he asked me why was I at his office today. Are you kidding me???!!! I told him that he was supposed to call Dr. Forscher or some other sarcoma specialist for advise (because he doesn't know what to do with me) and he was also supposed to look into a PET scan and see if it would be useful for a patient with desmoids. He looked right at me and said he didn't do any of those things. So basically, that appointment was a waste. I didn't learn anything new except that he thinks I look great! Super....like I care....

I expressed my disappointment with his lack of preparation and acknowledged that I feel great because they aren't pumping poison through my veins every Tuesday. I am living my life as a wife and mother and I couldn't be happier....except that he doesn't know how to treat my condition and that he doesn't ever seem to be prepared to answer my questions. It is always come back next week and we will discuss your case. I never get real answers because he doesn't know them. I am okay with this...I don't expect everyone to be an expert but then check your ego at the door and send me to someone who does know!!!! This is my life and he gets to go home and forget about it. My problem is right here in my hip pocket (literally) and won't go away!!

So what is the plan you ask??? You guessed it! Take another CT and call me in the morning...
He wants me to have another CT at the end of the year and see him a week or two after to discuss the results. The hope is that there will continue to be no change with the tumor. I asked him what then would be the plan if that is the case. Of course I already knew the answer....he doesn't know!

I plan to try to get a second opinion from an authority on the subject of sarcomas and from someone who takes my case a little more seriously. I am done! Did I mention that as I was leaving the office my "favorite" chemo nurse quit as of December? I asked if that meant my not so favorite nurse would be the one left and she said yes. Oh no! That is NOT gonna happen. I have a history with her and her lack of knowledge with IV's.

For now, I will enjoy my time off. Enjoy my kids. Enjoy the holidays. And deal with what comes next....when the time comes.