Up and running...again! Ugh!

First I had chemo. Maria asked if I had taken my anti-nausea and I decided to confess that I have not been taking them for weeks because it makes me sick. I've told her this before but she had an answer for everything...I didn't take it at the right time or with the right foods or I was not eating well enough. Believe me when I tell you that the nausea is the worst feeling ever and I would try anything to make it work! So the notion that I wasn't trying everything she had suggested is ridiculous! After hearing that I've been doing chemo without it, she decided to give me something else...FINALLY!

So we tried a different anti-nausea drug and she gave me a much bigger bag to "flush" my IV with after she "pushed" my chemo drugs. Consequently, it took a lot longer to get the heck outta there and I had to go peeeee! LOL!!

Next stop was a visit with the doctor. I asked about the MRI results he muttered a bunch of stuff and I caught a smidgen of bulged disc in the t-spine (great!), depleated bone marrow (wonderful!), muscle deterioration (fabulous!)..."but nothing significant!" I quoted that just so you understand how the visit went. For a 39 year old woman who can't put on her left shoe....I disagree! It showed plenty significant problems. But those won't kill you so they don't matter...I guess!!

Scott asked if the MRI showed the tumors. He said no just the bulge in the disc. Not at all why Scott was asking but I tried to re-phrase the question. I said we were asking to see if the chemo is working. He asked when my last scan was. Are you feeling my frustration?!?!?! I think when I come in he checks his brain out and doesn't remember anything. I 've been asking him....begging him for another scan for 3 months! I finally just looked at him and said...listen the last (only) scan was Jan. 28th. It has been 7 months of chemo. I want to know if this is working. My feet are numb and tingling. I have chest pains. My liver is not working properly. My white counts are all over the place. I am sick on a weekly basis. My legs are giving out for no reason at all. All this to shrink the blasted tumors. If it isn't working...I want to know! I need to know!! If it is working great...let's go! If it's not working we may want to re-think our approach. It seems like there are so many other drugs out there being used successfully, why waste a year if this isn't working! I told him if it isn't working at all, I'm done!

So he ordered a CT scan. I then asked about the radiation that is given with each CT that I've ever had coupled with actual radiation. You want to know what he said...."it's not my body". I came back with "well it is my body and THAT is why I'm asking". He said you have had a lot of radiation.....then he ordered a CT scan. When I further questioned him he countered with an offer to not scan for a few more months if I want to wait. Am I not clear or is he an idiot!?!?! Nevermind, I know the answer to that question :-)

So I wait for the CT to be approved and then I go drink that nasty stuff and get more radiation. At this point it will take longer to fight the MRI/CT debate or move to another doctor that we have decided to do a CT this time....just to get a peek inside! Chemo is scheduled for next Tuesday. Oh joy!

As for how the new anti-nausea worked, I can't really say. It seemed to hold it off for a bit longer. I was able to get home and in bed before the bad stuff started. Usually I get home and go to sleep and by dinner time I am hungry and eating makes me feel better. This time the smell make me so very sick! So I didn't eat dinner...I just rolled over and went back to sleep. Today, the day after I do feel better. Just taking it slow and drinking tons to flush out the chemo.

Tomorrow's another day :-)

Moving Forward...

I had my MRI Tuesday. Monday was the first go at it but as I sat in the waiting room they called me back and told me the machine broke down. So I went back Tuesday morning. The tech said it wouldn't take but 40 minutes and I would be done. Once she got to my t-spine she paused for what seemed like forever. When she pulled me out to start the IV (1st part was without contrast the 2nd part was with contrast) she said she was doing some extras on me for good measure. I've had enough of these to know that they don't just do that unless they see something. So that told me it wasn't just a routine scan...bummer!

I left the radiology department and headed for my oncologists office to see if I would go ahead with my chemo. They called me back and took my vitals. Chemo was a go! I protested because they didn't KNOW what was wrong with me but they were going ahead anyway...until the doctor came out saying he was having second thoughts! Thank YOU! I was not the only one. It turns out my white count dipped again and we needed to get them back up before continuing. Another week off! Yeah!

I went home and did shots for the next four days; returned for blood tests on Monday and started the whole why are we doing this even though we don't know what is wrong with me routine! Yes, we are. I wanted to see the doctor and find out exactly what the MRI showed before my chemo.

My nurse had told me (last week) the MRI showed nothing significant in terms of blood clots but did show "massive muscle atrophy", probably because of radiation. When asked if I would be able to recover from that, she said she didn't know. Her advise...exercise more. Having 5 kids she says isn't exercise. Obviously she doesn't have FIVE kids!! LOL


Up next is chemo and MRI results...tomorrow

Still Going!

I guess it's been a while...week 6 came and went. I had my treatment and it's getting more and more difficult. I am assuming it has a cumulative effect. I saw that doctor before treatment #7 and expressed my concern for my sudden falling. I have fallen several times when my legs have just completely given out on me. I am also having difficulty with activity. I get winded and exhausted quickly. This isn't me so I know something should be looked into.

That same day I had treatment #7. Maria, my favorite nurse was on vacation the following week so I asked for a break. I really need one and it's going to be a really busy week with 8th grade and pre-k graduations to attend. Not to mention my not so favorite nurse would be there to drain me of all my blood!

I was granted a repreive and it couldn't have come at a better time!! I have not been this sick in a long time. Treatment 7 kicked my tail!! I have been falling, having chest pains and suddenly on Tuesday I began to have some swelling in my legs. Tuesday was bad and Wednesday was worse. I called the doc and exlained the symptoms. He wanted to see me so I went on Thursday. He said we needed to rule out a pulmonary embolus. So today I had a venous doppler (leg ultrasound) to see if there are clots in my legs...the reason for the continued swelling. Good news! The tech told me right then and there that there were no clots! Doesn't mean they aren't in my lungs but good possiblity that they aren't. Next step is an MRI.

I have to say with all of my complaints of this office they have really stepped it up on this scare. They all have just jumped into crisis mode and are getting things done! I wish I could have enjoyed my week break but it was nice not to have amidst all the appointments. I am secretly hoping they give me another week off to figure all of this out.

I fell again yesterday on the way out the door. It's so embarassing and frightening. I told the doctor that something is wrong with my legs. The muscles in my legs feel shakey and give out at random times. This is not normal and I want to get to the bottom of it. My feet are also numb and tingling but I assume that is from the swelling.

Waiting to hear on the MRI appointment....the first available is not until Tuesday the 22nd and if we are still rulling out a PE then it might be too late! So they are working on getting me an appoinment somewhere else...sooner.

I'll keep you posted!